The way I see it,

I have no idea how to introduce this…

So as some of you may/may not know, I just ended a 9 year friendship with my best friend. Sucks, I know. It was hard, but I’m not particularly upset about it. I knew from the two years since I went through coping with the breakup with my bf that we weren’t on the same page on this. Even with a lot of you readers out there, many of you don’t agree with my decision to stay with someone who brought mostly pain to my life. I understand that. I also had my share of happy times with this person too, but I don’t vent about my negatives to a lot of you in person. I wish I did though, because it would have made things more easy to deal with and it wouldn’t have put me into this situation where I dumped every single issue on this one person simply because I had trust issues with the world. I don’t blame him for being impatient with me. I think we just wanted different things for each other.

Unlike past situations when we had blowups/disagreements like these, I won’t chase after him. I’m not going to spam his phone with continuous phone calls and texts, I’m not going to spam his family’s landline with continuous phone calls asking to speak to him, and I’m certainly not going to ask any outside source to get involved, because I have other resources I can turn to. Back then, I didn’t have any friends in college because the friends I had in high school went their separate ways into different colleges, and for some goddamned reason my high school ex decided to act like the fucking ringleader who could speak on behalf on one group, and we’ve been on bad terms to this day. This really affected my support system because the only friends I had just up and left me. I’m still resentful to them for it, but I don’t really like to dwell on it because karma will work its magic.

One thing I really appreciate about my affiliation with APO is that even when I up and left, there were still a few loyal friends who made the time to call/text me up and invite me to hang out with them or even chat with them so I guess I’m not as alone in this world as I thought I was. It’s not like everyone just straight up stopped giving a shit about me. I could be out of touch with a brother for years, but there will still be that one bond that lets us communicate as though nothing had changed. I don’t know what I’d do or how I’d handle the situation without the support of my APO friends.

Who knows, maybe my friend might just stop being bitter and try to work things out again… but I won’t fight for control over a situation I have no control over.

I shouldn’t have to change who I am just because you don’t like who I’ve become.

True best friends don’t make someone be something they are not.

To all my peeps attending Fanime this year

I wish you all a happy, safe, fun weekend. I will be in the gaming hall playing board games and being of service to the con all weekend between the hours of midnight and 6am, if you want to come see me and play games.